If you often find yourself saying “yes” when you really want to say “no,” putting others’ needs before your own, or feeling anxious about disappointing people, you might be struggling with people-pleasing. While being kind and considerate is a strength, constantly prioritizing others at the expense of your own well-being can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and even anxiety or depression.
At All About You Therapy in St. George, we specialize in women’s counseling and understand the unique pressures women face—whether it’s societal expectations, family obligations, or workplace dynamics. If you’re ready to break free from the cycle of people-pleasing, here’s how to start reclaiming your time, energy, and emotional well-being.
Why Do Women Struggle with People-Pleasing?
Research indicates that women are more susceptible to people-pleasing behaviors due to societal and cultural conditioning. From a young age, girls are often encouraged to be nurturing, and accommodating, and to prioritize others’ needs over their own. This socialization fosters a tendency to seek external validation and avoid conflict, leading to people-pleasing patterns.
While being supportive of others is admirable, chronic people-pleasing can come at a cost. Over time, it can lead to burnout, resentment, and an inability to recognize or advocate for your own needs.
Signs You May Be a People-Pleaser
Not sure if this applies to you? Here are some common signs of people-pleasing:
- You feel guilty when saying no.
- You agree to things you don’t actually want to do.
- You avoid conflict at all costs.
- You constantly apologize—even when it’s not necessary.
- You feel responsible for others’ emotions.
- You suppress your true thoughts and feelings to keep the peace.
- You overextend yourself and feel exhausted from always helping others.
If these sound familiar, you’re not alone. The good news is that people-pleasing is a learned behavior, which means it can be unlearned with the right tools and support.
Steps to Overcoming People-Pleasing
1. Identify Your Triggers
Pay attention to situations where you feel pressured to please others. Is it at work? With family? In social settings? Understanding when and why you engage in people-pleasing can help you begin making intentional changes.
2. Practice Saying No
Saying “no” doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you human. Start small by declining minor requests, then work your way up to bigger ones. You don’t need to over-explain. A simple “I can’t commit to that right now” is enough.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for emotional well-being. Instead of overcommitting, start defining limits that protect your time and energy. Communicate these boundaries clearly and without guilt.
4. Get Comfortable with Discomfort
It can feel awkward or even scary to set boundaries, especially if you’re used to putting others first. Remember, discomfort is a normal part of change. The more you practice, the easier it will become.
5. Prioritize Self-Care
Your well-being is just as important as everyone else’s. Take time for yourself—whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or attending therapy. Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.
6. Seek Support
Breaking free from people-pleasing can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can help you uncover the root of your people-pleasing tendencies and develop healthier coping strategies.
You Deserve to Put Yourself First
At All About You Therapy in St. George, we help women navigate these challenges and build the confidence to prioritize their own needs without guilt. If you’re ready to stop people-pleasing and start living authentically, we’re here to support you every step of the way.
Take the first step—schedule a session today. Your happiness and well-being are worth it.
